Here's an update on my life to weigh out all the times I've posted saying how insecure or overwhelmed I am.
I'm satisfied with where I am. I like the person I've become. My self-loathing is significantly less than my contentment. I know what I want and a ton of resistance to getting there has just...dissolved. I know my context, I understand myself well, and I have all these fantastic tools in use to keep me focused and doing what I want to be doing. I'm awesome!
And what do I want? A house with a view and oceanic kitchen tiles, a big fluffy dog, a self-sufficient income from writing for magazines and other publications, and a person to marry.
That's the real bucket list at the moment. And after that, there's the other bucket list: sail across the Pacific, hang-glide over the Amazon River, write a comic in Fez, and walk across the United States.
I don't know where April's rent is going to come from, and that freaks me out, but I can take that on. I know who I am and what I live for. Just wanted to let you know.