27 April 2007

What Slade has learned from dress-shopping to date

1. There are more dress shops in Indiana than previously supposed, including two within walking distance of my house.

2. I have a size 14 ass matched with size 12 boobage, no matter what certain Hong Kong dressmakers have to say. However attractive that might be, it is definitely not convenient.

3. Really hot, classy, gorgeous dresses are almost universally out of my price range.

4. Case in point: The dress that has been hanging in the window of Michael B's for months, which I walk past every day, by some miracle does fit me. There was a chorus of angels till I checked the $500 price tag. (Note: That was a $200 dress, tops. $500 is outrageous.)

5. I seem to have a very different idea of what dresses are worth than the people who set their prices. This ought to be rectified.

6. Things on sale racks are usually there for a reason. (Exception: Snug, adorable, red-and-white strapless at the bridal store. But maybe there just aren't many size 6's around Indiana looking for hot dresses.)

7. Trying on dresses is fun.

8. Trying on dress after dress that almost-but-not-quite fits or requires alterations I don't have time for or turns out to be uglier than presupposed or for whatever reason is Entirely the Wrong Dress, is depressing.

9. My theory of differentiated passing of time between the inside of a changing room and the rest of the world has been upheld.

10. This shopping trip was brought to you by Slade actually taking her measurements and discovering that Dress No. 5, which I had decided to buy as a backup because Good Orient has a fantastic return policy, will in no way fit. The waist is two inches too small, which is enough for me not to be able to breathe right. They do have tailored dresses, but those are twice as expensive and probably won't get here in time.

In conclusion, I'll be going to the Nebulas ceremony naked.

5 comments:

Anna said...

Honey, I wish I could come with you and help. It's always easier/quicker with some help, because they can go find other sizes and hang up dresses and put them away while you try on others. They can also find things that may not have been seen right away.

Sorry you have to do this alone (I'm assuming you went alone, there was no mention of a helper). You will find something. I'm sure.

Kassandra said...

Won't you be back in Pittsburgh before then? I mean, this sounds like the kind of task Joseph was made for.

Slade said...

Kass, funny you should mention that. I was just talking to my (awesome) housemate Audrey about how we both need formalwear, and considering a trip to the Monroeville Mall. Honestly, I was just about to email you and see if you wanted to come with for laughs, suggestions, hanging out, and navigation. It's looking like I won't have much (read: ANY) time to hang out between college and the Nebulas, so this would be a great opportunity. Probably next weekend, though that's subject to change as needed. And if we got Joseph in on this -- hell, that's a PARTY!

Kassandra said...

Score! Yeah, I was going to ask you about the post-college pre-Nebulas thing, because I'm trying to organize some kind of get-together before assorted people go off doing assorted things. Looks no-goish, but maybe we can substitute a shopping orgy.

You also should consider Gabriel Brothers. You've gotten lucky there before, after all.

Slade said...

Yay, shopping orgy! I'll talk to Audrey and then email you and Joseph.

Can you think of any Monroeville stores with good selections for really skinny kids (men's or women's depts., really)? Audrey is a non-curvy kind of twig person and so has some issues with the clothing.

Gabes seems like a perfect idea. The Greensburg one is even kinda on our way out of town, I think. I don't remember anything about their formal/dress section. How is it? Or the one in Monroeville?